Some Thoughts on the Dating Game

Last week, a number of blogs that I visit had “Dating” as their topic, and they all had one thing in common: Internet dating was not all that cracked up to be. I am quite surprised at how far reaching this form of meeting people really is? All the different clubs and dating services out there; no wonder it is a million dollar industry, someone is making a fortune on it as the supply of users grows. Meeting people should be natural; however, the Internet in my opinion is the worse place to meet people for the propose of dating because the natural/human part (face to face meeting) is taken out of the equation! As one person put it, “its like picking out stocks at the VSE (Vancouver Stock Exchange).” You are buying commodities and hoping to cash in quick and make that big score–a date.

A very interesting conversation that took place last Tuesday during an English class I am taking; the prof. who was talking about a video presentation we did called “Tough Guise,” that dealt with the problems of being Male in todays Western society, discussed the problems of how the mating rituals cause many problems that are incompatible with human nature. This problem is called, “Chemistry.” Chemistry is the means in which a Male and Female meet and fall in love. If they share the right chemistry that attracts them to each other, chances are they will bond, or cohabitate, and then have children. However, there is another component that is rarely taken into consideration during this courtship: that is, “truly knowing the person you are with.” This difference can be figured out in 3 days, or can take as long as 3 years; you never really know the person you are with until have lived with them for a certain amount of time. This is where the problem starts.

My personal experiences sort of proves this for me. A long time ago, I did the falling in love bit. I wanted to share my life with the woman who I “fell head-over-heals” with and was ready to take on any responsibility there was to make this happen. Although we never technically lived with each other, and a good thing too, the lesson I learn was a hard one. If it were not for the long engagement process, I probably would have being stuck with a $150,000.00 debt and supports payments up the “Yin Yang.” The mere fact that she was seeing another man and she was leaching “our” Bank account was only the start of the “getting to know your partner” process. Soon, this beautiful woman of my dreams changed into the “demon from Hell” and was sucking every last drop of blood from my veins. Oddly enough, if you speak to her friends, I was dumped because of being a typical Male and having too many Male like qualities, and [a] number of other issues which I will not go into here.

[edited 12-04-2006]

I am very particular about who I would consider dating. The cost of such a relationship is beyond that of a business partnership, for example: children, mortgages and feelings. If you never find time to actually meet the person and get to know them, then you are just asking for trouble. I say, we should turn this social ritual on its head and make it acceptable to know the person first, then step up to the dating process, then start the family if all the requirements are met.

4 Thoughts on “Some Thoughts on the Dating Game

  1. Let me get this straight…
    You were dumped because you possessed too many ‘male-like’ qualities?

    Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

    Btw, that sounds like a particularily bad situation you were in.

    Good luck in the dating arena.

    PS, I’ve added you to my ‘lurk list’.

  2. Roger, welcome aboard!

    Re: Male qualities… The great mystery of woman is what they see in a man. I used the analogy of man equals a car. Women love the car, it takes them to places with relative safety and efficiency; however, once the colour fades, the parts start to wear and the gas mileage starts to cost too much, they want a trade-in.

    That particular bad relationship was only a close call. I feel I did pretty good getting out when I did.

    Like I said before, I have lots of Female friends, I’m just making sure I’m getting to know them first before I join in on the Dating game. 😉

  3. Hey Tom… I make the same humble suggestion to Rog as I will to you: Unless you have no friends here (and it seems like you obviously have several), get them to set you up. It always works out for the best.

    Hell, Roger’s current dating adventure partner was set up by his mother!

    🙂 Don’t be afraid to enjoy the dating scene… And I’m glad you didn’t get sucked into a very bad situation in your last serious mate.

    Hope all is well!

  4. Hey Tanya,

    I am assuming that you are referring to a Match Maker among friends, one for whom you put your trust into, and will bear the responsibility of saving you, “if all Hell breaks loose.” He he he… In my neck of the woods, competition is quite fears for available mates. But let me add one seemly selfish note to my statement about: available “desirable” mates… I fined myself trapped into a world where prospective mates are chosen not just based on their availability, but also whether they are acceptable among members of my clique. It seems that there are more checks and balances involved if I stick to those rigorous requirements by my friends than if I go through my “self promotion” method. I would rather leave the sanctity of the group and find “Mis Right,” than go through a quality control sessions with my friends. ..and as we all know, it has more to do with how the person looks rather than how nice a human being they are.

    …Yikes: it just got more complicated—didn’t it!

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