The Funnies I Heard Today

Yup, today was one of those days. Everyone is a comic when put under pressure. From my co-workers, to the students that I sit beside in class, everyone was cracking good one-liners today. But then it could be just me listening for the first time thinking that everything is funny? Hummmm, maybe I somehow switched on my humor-mode today.

  1. “…stupid piece of… the computer is down! Nope, wait…, It’s OK, I forgot to turn on the monitor!”
  2. “So anyways, I was telling my wife….Holy crap man, a bug just shit on you. I’m not lying, it really did, right on your shoulder!”
  3. “I’m looking for Houston?” “….OK, just drive South, OK.” “How far?” “Till you leave Canada.”
  4. “You know what makes my laugh? When I tell the guy’s wife that he is a complete jerk-off, and she agrees with me.”
  5. “You know you’ve got a flat tire eh?” “….Duh, it’s round along the edges and flat along the outside–of course it’s flat–stupid!”
  6. “I really hated working there, but then I got paid, but the happiness only lasted five minutes…”
  7. “Wow–I seen this most awesome looking woman…” “Yeah, well, that’s my wife.” “I don’t think so, she would be way out of your league!”

So, yes, those were some of the funnies I heard today. I guess you need to be in that frame of mind to appreciated them?

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