Ok, I’m going into “Harp and Whine” mode here in this post. Please don’t read this unless you want to read about my overworked lifestyle and all the pressures that come with it. So stop reading right now and click over to someone else’s blog. My negative depression could spread to you–and this could be bad. No one wants a grey day, especially on a cool November day like it is today.
To start off, I just got home after being away from home for the last twenty hours. My day started off with a 5 hour shift at work, then off to the campus library where I had to meet with not one, but two study groups, all back to back. So from 5:30 am till now I have being going like a mad man trying to keep up with everything. Work is starting to pick up as the hopes of a slowing economy are starting to look like a hoax as everyone seems to be spending money on Satellite Television. Work was nuts today as the inventory kept moving in and out as almost as fast as it did last year. This sucks for me because when it is busy I waste valuable energy that I need for my classes. You try and sit still in a chair listening to a lecture while your feet are throbbing form running on them all day–and these weekend shifts don’t help either! Then it was off for more punishment as I had to drive to the campus for group work at the Library.
Public speaking sucks when you don’t like it. I don’t like it. Preparing for class seminars is unbelievably bad for me. I dread standing up in front of large groups of people doing the public speaking gig. Nervousness, fear, shaking, sweating and babbling seem to be regular occurrences for me when I get up to the podium to speak. I thought it would get easier for me after I did a few of these, but it stays at the same level of fear. The night before is the worst. I have dreams of standing up in front of everyone, and even though I pretend I’m doing a great job, the pre-jitters always starts then, and I start to question whether I am going to make a complete fool of myself. It is a God-awful feeling for me. I walk back and forth right before, I try to read and I try doing focusing exercises, but none of those really seem to work as the start time draws closer.
Though I have to admit once I have completed the presentations I feel like I just climbed Mt. Everest. I wish there was some way of harnessing that feeling so I could use it just before I begin–I would become a millionaire if I could bottle it–then everyone would be great public speakers, …that might be a bad thing? Well, I wish I had some right about now.
Anyway, I’m going to bed now because I have another shift tomorrow morning and then more group meetings afterwords as Monday gets closer. So if you were expecting an email, comment or phone call, all I can say is please wait until after Monday when I get thought this.