Today sure started off the same as any other average day. I woke up, performed my ablutions, hopped in the vehicle and did the commute to work. Opened up the building, turned on the lights, fired up the Dell, watched Bill Gate’s operating system slowly sputter up to greet me on the login page, and then I checked for incoming emails. In all, a very average start to a average day.
The only real plan for today was a meeting with the some of the top bosses for late in the afternoon. They were scheduled to pop in for a visit so we could brain-storm on setting up a series of changes that would streamline our operation. I decided that when the day started to slow down I would clean up a little more than I would normally. I also prepared a table and some chairs out in the warehouse so everyone could see from my vantage point what the the warehouse and the rest of the building looked like so the brain-storming process would stay on track. The conference call over the phone would not work when describing physical problems that would hinder a new system of operations; only the face to face meeting would work to keep all on board.
Roughly 2:00pm rolled around and my guests arrived. I was actually excited because this was the first time of having all the major players in one room at one time, as this has never taken place since my time at the company, and to have them all at the Surrey operation was, well, a bonus. I was the star of the show. As we talked about what would be the ideal direction to go in, the topic of emails came up.
I restrain myself to the extreme when I type out emails to my co-workers. I always read, think, then ponder before I hit the “enter” button. I have a rule when greeting everyone – always say something positive, and end with a positive note – even when I am writing a letter of complaint. I really try and make a huge effort of making sure my emails are simple, unambiguous, and grammatically correct. I try not to be verbose in my replies, nor do I type out three word cryptic answers that are meaningless and have no bearing on the topic from the email’s header when replying. I also try to sum up in one email rather than fifteen, unlike some members from my group of co-workers who have being given the nick-name, “Email Nazi,” associating to them to the endless email-threads that exceed twenty to thirty emails per topic and giving orders like a drill Sargent. Yeah, following those emails is like reading a harlequin romance novel written by Charles Manson during a parole hearing.
Well, the highest honour that I could possible receive was presented to me today. Apparently my emails are the stuff of legends. My emails have been circulated from one end of the country to other, and have been posted on lunch room bulletin boards, and have appeared in power point presentations; they have being read aloud during meetings, and recorded into minutes from our board members; accounts have been won because of the framing of content of the queries in them, and phrases and content copied and reproduced into other emails as fact. My humour and semantics have garnered me much respect, and a wide audience. If reproduction is the highest form of flattery, then I have a huge cult following of plagiarists.
I wish I had known about this fame long before. No one told me this until today. One side of me feels embarrassed, but the other side of me is honoured, and this proves that the pen, or keyboard, is mightier than the sword. Sure, I can answer the phone, but I prefer the email because it stays, and speaks for itself, where as talk is cheap and is easily dismissed.