Many people go to university for many different reasons, but primarily the common denominator is that a benefit is gained when you leave. But what happens if your intent is not always fundamentally obtainable and you leave without the net benefit of your intended gain? Well, that is where I picked up the pen, or in this case, hit the keyboard to tell you my tale of a day (last night) in one of my classes at Richmond campus at Kwantlen Polytechnic University.
There is an entrenched belief among my peers that it is the boys who are guilty of attending University for finding that perfect woman instead of applying their full attention on the blackboard (or whiteboard in my case). This is a stereotype. Hearing a group of young women talk about their peers totally tilted the scales away from the stereotype of boys being “pigs,” as the girls proclaimed some very profound statements of their own. According to these women, they are just as equally, if not more guilty of having a dual motive for attending classes at the university than the boys are.
Perhaps the most advantageous statement made in class from the girls were the vast networks of communications, and the speed and breath of which news travels through it. As one of the women put it, “texting has not made the spread of gossip go (grow) faster, it only has made a permanent record of it,” as she was referring to a statement about the rash of criminal events/Facebook on the news in the last few week.
The power of Facebook has enhanced the ability of the social community to advance more information in a shorter period of time, but with more “clout.” There is a “code” that is obvious, even the boys can figure it out, “but you do have to be wired for it” to fully understand it, one woman said. “If the boys could fully understand the power of emotion and (female) logic (of the text), then they would see the complexities that surround each thought, and deciphering its full meaning would either cause chaos, or make him the most desirable man on campus.”
Keeping things above board and preventing the risk of unwanted compilations such as awkward moments of miss-communication, i.e., getting the signals crossed, is a constant, and is the most common risks cited by the group. There is a method to all of this madness, and of course, it follows the rigid guise of a hidden social cast system where “looks, fashion, body type, economic strata and intellectual ranking are all determinants,” as one women said. However, issues such as “body language, bad wording (texting),” are just a couple of the ongoing problems that “women face on a minute to minute bases.”
“How men interpret all of this is the core problem,” another woman said.
Code of Conduct
There is a code, but it is inconstant among all members of this group. It is very hard to pin down the details because of the disagreement in the list of points as some of the members viewed the justification of “why we are all attending university” in the first place kept coming up. I was awestruck that all of the women could agree without actually agreeing on the specific points.
Education vrs Relationships
The tug-of-war between “finding that hot guy [or girl],” versus “attending classes and building the career,” is a power play among all students, male or female. However, it is all in the interpretation of what you see, hear and do. Your actions speak louder than words, so it no wonder why men and women who dress provocatively, act outrageously, and react to issues, undergo extreme scrutiny among their peers.
According to the claims made by the women, they feel that they have more social and self directed pressure put on them than the men do.
It is unwise to plan a full course load at university for the purposes of finding your dream mate. Although university yields a higher quality and standard of people to propagate with, most, or a high percentage, are there for their betterment of obtaining a higher education towards their dream careers. I’m sure, however, if the opportunity did present itself, if a good partner was found (by accident/coincidence of course) that a good wholehearted relationship would be formed.