Paperclip Etiquette

Today, at my work, we were talking about some of the conventions and standards that we have from Mother Corp for our everyday operations. Some are commonsense, and obvious, while others, mystifying and comical, and a couple of them even dumbfounded me that they even exists in the first place.

Because the company that I do my Volunteering work with is tied with the Federal government, these rules have cemented themselves among the civilian end of Corrections Canada. Anyone who has worked with, or as a civil servant, should know that these “rules” exsits in a huge way.

We have a handbook that sits in the photocopier room, and in it, there is a section on Paper Clips. According to that book, we are only allowed to use two types of paperclips: a 2.5cm and 4cm size. Nothing else is acceptable according to this book.

So myself and some other staff members thought that we really needed to update this book, as it was published in 1996. So we came up with 7 rules of Paperclip Etiquette to coincide with Mother Corp’s rules and conventions. Here they are:

Paperclip Etiquette

Rule #1 Using a tiny paperclip to hold 150 sheets of paper together is poor judgement. Use a monster size one instead.

Rule #2 Reusing them is good commonsense, but only if they are not bent out of shape.

Rule #3 Do not use a staple if you need to run the papers through a photocopier. Use a paperclip instead.

Rule #4 Putting a paperclip in your mouth is gross. It is like me coughing all over you.

Rule #5 Please keep them separate. Making a paperclip chain is not good efficient use of paperclip resources and time.

Rule #6 Do not use paperclips as a bookmarker. Use designated paper bookmakers instead.

Rule #7 Keep Paperclips dry. Some paperclips rust. (This is why you should keep them out of your mouth, Rule #4).

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