Normally I am not so cynical about two people falling in love. I find it quite amazing that “true” love even happens at all in this day and age when break-ups and divorces are heard of everywhere. Committing to marriage is like signing onto a mortgage today. Wait, yes, a mortgage, that is exactly what it is like, something you are supposed to take to the grave. When I heard the story of my young relative who had just gotten out of a very bad relationship, I could not help but think about all of the scenarios that go into creating a pair bond relationship, and what rips them apart. The first one that jumped right out at me was the “love equals money” person, whether man or woman, the means are the same, I call it the “man/woman trap.” For my relative, and only hearing his side of the story, well, it certainly sounded like he fell into the trap.
I bounced about twenty different situations that people fall into when love is invoked in my head, and the majority of them were always based on alterer motives, and served as a mean to an end, for example, like marrying into the family for money. In other words, one side of the pair-bond seeks more than their equal share, or personal gain. For example, men project that they have more money than they actually do. Woman, project beauty with make-up, implants, and other body modifications. My point is we put ourselves up for sale, always seeking the highest bidder, but when the rubber hit the road, well then, the truth usually pops up right-a-way. And I do apologies for the very poor metaphor and pun.
Again, I have met people, couples, who have classically lived up to the romantic cliché of true love. Boy meat girl; boy and girl get married, and so on. But sadly, the rotten apples always take centre stage, and the horror stories always resonate in my memories of the couples who turn the who marriage philosophy on its ear. Court battles, child custody and fights for money always grab the headlines. Unequivocally, money is at the top-of-the-list as the root of all ills in marriages among my peers.
There are always two sides to every story. I am sure if I stood in one spot long enough, I would hear the other side. I can only guess that my relative is no more the Saint than what he projects himself to be. I can bet my bottom dollar that he is just as much at fault about the claims that he makes against his partner than he is. This is the state of modern mirage: it is just too easy to break up, and tough it out and make it work.
The cost of it all. Just image if children were involved? This real life drama would have tragedy written all over it, and my tune in this blog post would most definitely be different. But thankfully there are no children between these two. I shutter to imagine if a child had grown up in their household.
Anyway, my relative will search out for another mate, and his former lover will no doubt be looking also. I wish them all the best. No, seriously, I do. One of my “pair-bond” scenarios states that there are those who are meant for each other. No matter how much they seek out someone different, they will always return to each other. Kind of like when opposites attract, and they are the only two magnets in the room, so to speak. Looking from the outside in, and not having no emotional attachments, I see a completely different game at play here.