What the Girls Say

As I was sitting in the lunch room today reading my E-Reader (with head phones on), and there were about six, twenty-something ladies have a full on discussion about their partners, boy friends and past partners. And I could hear very easily over my music as they all chimed in at once about how their Male counterparts lacked communication, in particular in the relationship category. I found it ironic (in the true sense) that what they what were asking for were their partners to detail what they wanted in the relationship, that men should step up and say it instead of let them doing all of the talking.

One of the women spoke up and said that she was tired of her having to make all of decisions: going out to a movie, when the cleaning should be done, who should we visit. Another said, “my boyfriend never tells me what he wants, he just goes along with it…” While another woman said that she hates her ex boyfriend, but she still misses him becuase they would talk a lot.

It was very hard for me to keep a straight face while I was reading, sitting there, hearing all of this. But once they went back to the work-floor when their breaks were over, they got me thinking about communication in general between the sexes in today’s society. I honestly do not see any set standard for what role men and women play in the whole cohabitation game. There seems to be no guidelines on what is appropriate for a pair-bond to take place. Sure, there is Holly-Weird [Hollywood], but that is just pure fantasy, not real life; however, it is our only benchmark for any kind of set standard for couples to engage in. I have to admit, for the boys, it is hard to take the first step–the thought of rejection is a very painful pill indeed for some–so why take the risk. Some take it well, while other’s do not.

One of the women proclaimed that she will take the first step, that she is not afraid to ask a boy out, or engage in a relationship that she wants pursue. She admitted proudly that she met her boyfriend from her last job, and that she asked him out. She said “sometimes you have to make the first move.”

I said (to myself) Bravo! If this is where our Canadian social standard has taken us in the dating game in 2015, then so be it. I think it is for the best. I certainly see nothing wrong with the girls taking the lead. It seems that the whole 1950s–nuclear family cliché is out the window already, so why not accept a switch in gender role playing. If she likes someone, then let her take the first step in initiating the pair-bond process–first contact, leading up to a “date.” If it does not work out, well then, she too can call it off. If we can clear the social stigma of letting Females choose without giving them negative labels, then I think there would be more happier couples around today.

Disclaimer: I am by no means, a dating expert, but I did major in Sociology while doing my B.A.

One Thought on “What the Girls Say

  1. Hey Thomasso – Its Wade Deisman – I am a Criminology Prof at Kwantlen. I need you to contact me about the post you made regarding Tom Allen. It was so beautifully written and heartfelt, I am hoping you can help us with one of the ways we are remembering Tom. Please email me at: wade.deisman@kpu.ca

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