The Discovery of the Opposite Sex – Enlightenment and Truth: A Young Boy’s Tail – Very Funny.

July 24th, 2010 Thomasso

For us boys, girls were the weirdest thing. I believed that girls had us figured out, so it seemed, but they really didn’t, as time would tell becuase they acted totally different from the way we acted. When I discovered that they had different parts, or plumbing as I my father would tell me, that just threw me over the edge – how do they pee? I found this you-tube clip from a classmate’s post on the class blog in my Communications 3100 class I am taking this semester. Her post was on the 60-something steps for breaking up with your girl friend, but I also found this little gem from the same you-tube author.

Enjoy!

Tom

Posted in General, Humour, Video | 2 Comments »

My Home Made Mess

July 16th, 2010 Thomasso

OK, I feel better today. After last night, I am still a little shaky, but tired. I will survive.

My place is a mess. I mean, I have neglected it for so long that if I needed to find something, it would take a whole day just to find it, and I may not guarantee that I could. I have books, papers and stationary laying around everywhere. This is all from jumping from one major project to another and only focusing on work with little time for general duties of home care. Between classes, taking on legal work and doing research, my neglect has created a total chaotic mess in my kitchen living room and bedroom. You cannot see my table, couch and living room floor from all the books scattered around and laying on them.

If I were married, I would probably be in Divorce Court right now due to this mess and neglect, thus the reason why I do not have a partner, I am saving myself until my grueling quest of graduating is completed. (That just does not sound right for a male)? And not to many people could live with my routine and demanding schedule. Heck, even my beloved government, big brother, is feeling the neglect from my absents from the real world—but that is another story for another time.

I have a research paper due in two weeks, which is plenty of time to clean up my mega-mess. Also, there is another group project from my communications class, which is far less demanding compared to yesterday’s group effort. So, A whole day should do it if nothing else pops up that will take me away from it. I need to see my couch again.

And you are probably thinking, “you lazy guy—just get off your butt and do some cleaning…”   Well, if you seen how many books I own, you will probably declare my living room as a disaster area. In my jurisdiction there is probably a By-Law which lists how many book one can own? (That was a joke, OK, please do not take the By-Law remark seriously).

The purpose of this post is simple: part venting, and part complaining. Maybe they, venting and complaining, are the same thing? I am still tired from last night and getting the day going is a challenge. I am typing because that is the only part of my body that still works – the fingers and brain.  I need a life.

Posted in Diatribe, General, Humour, University classes | No Comments »

The Weirdest Sleep Last Night – It Was Too Real

July 10th, 2010 Thomasso

I do not know if it was the heat, or the supper amount of stress I am going through with classes right now, or the exotic food I ate for dinner, but man, did I ever have a weird sleep. Right now it is 5:30am and I am looking outside at the first bit of sun light hitting the horizon and my body feels like a million dollars: unbelievably great. My brain, on the other hand, feels like a water balloon full of thick gooey sludge. I think I might have a head cold that is going around?

It was a welcomed sight seeing the high clouds roll in last night. I know the heat was killer, and everyone was feeling it, but we only had three days of it. According to Environment Canada’s definition of a “Heat Wave,” you need to have three consecutive days of 32C, or hotter, weather to constitute that title. We only broke that temperature for two days, so we can not use the term Heat Wave until the next high pressure weather system moves in.

So far, the heat seems to be trapped under the clouds and it does not appear to any threat of rain, but the clouds are moving away as I can see clear patchy skies. The night was warm, which is unusual from the last few days where the temperature dropped to 15C at night. We had our share of rain for far too long, so I think we might be back to some more glorious sun shine which I am looking forward too.

Well, I think I might throw on some coffee and start preparing for the first of two papers due this week. I hope you like my Sun Shine Man drawn on InkScape.

Posted in Art, Bitching about weather, Diatribe, General, Humour, Photographs, University classes | No Comments »

The Foot Hurts Like Hell

June 24th, 2010 Thomasso

While at class this afternoon, I stubbed my toe. Sure, you are thinking to yourself, big deal, but I did not realize how bad it was until I got out of class and sat down at the park on campus and took off my sock to have a good inspection. I put a good size gash on my big toe—it hurts. Actually, I think it hut more when I looked it than it did while I was sitting in class thinking about it.

A thought about why, nearly four hours after the accident, my brain told me that the toe now hurts beyond a normal pain threshold of stubbing ones toe should. The more I thought about it, the more it made me wonder just how much effort I was putting into thinking about my toe. Survival mode seemed to have kick in at that moment because I started wondering if the injury could been worse than it really was, and would this mean going beyond the band-aid solution and actually heading down to the medical clinic to seek a second opinion, or a bigger band-aid.

I took the male macho option and dealt with the pain as is. I drove home, favouring my toe all the way. My solution was to drive barefoot and let my toe “breath,” perhaps allowing it to heal faster, but it did ease the pain a little.

I kept thinking how I got the injury, and how I could have prevented it. I stubbed in on the stairs while walking up them between the second and third floors of C-building. I was carrying a full pack of books, probably about 5 Kgs in weight, and my lap-top, another 3 Kgs, in my right hand. So I formulated my problem out in a simple flow-chart.

a) I should have taken the stairs. Should have thought about taking the elevator instead, it is obviously safer than the stairs. Screw the health and fitness idea.

b) As soon as I stubbed the toe, I should have stopped and tended to it. Maybe ice, band-aid at that point would have made my time sitting at the desk in the classroom better and more bearable.

c.0) Should have gone home and used my injury card. I never left a class before, ever, using that one.

c.5) Grin and bear it! Let the pain flow through. Enjoy the pain—it tells me that i am alive.

No matter which way I think about it, the toe hurts.

Posted in Diatribe, General, Humour, Photographs | Comments Off

Clouds on High – When Did Summer Start?

June 23rd, 2010 Thomasso

The funny thing about clouds, you either love them, or you hate them, there is very little in between. When I looked on my calendar last week and saw that the summer solstice was near, I was excited. When I looked out the window, I had my doubts that summer was on its way, as I put my sweater on to go outside.

Since then, a week to be exact, the official start of summer has gone by, but the shift between summer and spring like days still bounces back and forth as each new day could bring any type of weather you can think of. Last week, Friday morning, it could have snowed it was so cool out. Today, I thought about turning on the air conditioner.

I told my co-workers that from now on the days are getting shorter until winter. That killed the moment.  They hate me now. Oh well, c’est la vie!

Still the clouds keep rolling in, and even now, with a fairly warm day, as soon as the sun is hidden from the clouds the cool air returns. “Clouds, I love you, but sometime you gotta go…”

Posted in Bitching about weather, General, Humour, Photographs | Comments Off

That’s Right, a New Laptop.

June 18th, 2010 Thomasso

I am happily typing on my brand new laptop that I just bought today. Since the death of my old laptop three weeks ago, life has been rough trying to cope without one. I have really adapted myself to using my notebook when attending lectures and other events where I need to take huge amounts of notes. I find that I can type faster than I can by pitting pen to paper, the old school method. So this is the test run with the new machine.

A note on driving in Langley City. I have to applaud the RCMP for their enormous effort when they did the police state traffic blitz last week. That was great. That was a rare time to have everyone driving the proper speed, driving defensively, and not having to worry about being cut-off. I was beautiful! I really think that if this is what it takes to get people to drive safely, then I have no problems with the police state deal in Langley. I like it when I see speeders, tailgaters and red-light-runners get nailed!

Summer, could it finally be here? Doesn’t it start officially Monday?

Human rights: in my fourth year class this term, we are studying the topic of human rights from many different perspectives. My group presentation will be in three weeks, and out topic will be international criminal courts and law. When I first started looking at the option that I have for information on this topic, I thought that I would be struggling to find information and sources, but as it turns out, there is no shortage if texts on the topic. Heck, just in terms of current events from the news there is so much going on around the world that I can hardly keep up with it all. Right now we are focusing on the Gaza Blockade by Israel, and the G20 summit in Toronto. I am finding tones of stuff to write about. I think we will have a fun presentation. I’m looking forward to.

Next week’s class we will be having a mock court, and we will be arguing about a heated debate  on whether women should have to wear the veil/scarf aka Hijab. I will be playing the roll as one of the Crown prosecutors, of which I must come up with an argument to that will hold up against the Chart of Rights and Freedoms (1982) in Canada and state why women who choose to cover their heads should not be allowed in certain circumstance under Canadian jurisdiction. I think I got my work cut out for me.

My business Communications and technical writing class: My last class was dedicated to the topic of BS, or Bull Shit, from which we explored several ways that people can lie, spin or not tell the truth. The humour was gone when we got into the nitty-gritty aspects of how much of it there is in the world today. Oddly enough politics was not the worst bunch, but businesses and marketers took the top spot! I know, it was a shock for me too!

Well the lap top seems to have passed the first test. I can connect through wi-fi on campus, type out a doc, and upload it to the blog. I think we are all good here now. Talk to you later, gater.

Posted in Criminal Law, Criminology, Diatribe, General, Homework and deadlines, Humour, University classes | Comments Off

Finally Truth in Advertising! Thanks to the Onion – Ya Baby

June 7th, 2010 Thomasso

OK, before I go full steam into my diatribe, I want to put a word of caution on this next You-Tube clip I am posting–course language. This clip contains some very nasty language, so keep the kids away from this.

With Apple releasing its latest great piece of consumer gadgetry, I could not resist posting this clip made by the Onion News Network–God I love these guys–on just how close they got it. Unfortunately, all of the latest stuff released by Apple and other manufactures so far this year amounts to garbage on the scale of usefulness for me. What I need to succeed, has not come close to me busting the doors down at the local buy-more store, becuase, frankly, the stuff is pointless and will not help me in my daily life’s routines. So far, my four year old cell phone and three year old lap-top are doing very well for my daily needs.

Sure, I know, everyone is trying so hard to make me part with my hard earned money, but really, you got to give me something that is practical, especially in today’s’ piss-poor economy, it’s gotta do something for me. Wheels for my fifteen cylinder, two miles to the gallon, SUV,  now that is important; not some lame, I-have-to-use-my-fingers, touch-screen, no mouse, whatever it is–lap-top. If they want to sell me something, then they got to get their priorities right! Make me a better lap-top. Make me a news paper that you see on Harry Potter and Serenity–then we will talk, me parting with my legal tender.

Watch the video, and then think about all the stupid junk that is being pushed on you, and the cheesy ads that promote it. And then when you are done, click on all the other videos that the Onion News Network has made, and laugh out loud!

Posted in Diatribe, General, Humour, Video | 1 Comment »

Work’n Hard – Just an Update

May 5th, 2010 Thomasso

The Official Announcement: Yes, I’m at work, but I’m on my break – honest.

Now for the post:

If you are sensing a little “ick” in my writing in this post, it is because I am typing it on a Microsoft Window$ Machine, believe it or not, with XP as its OS. I know, why? But most businesses I know are still running this garbage. What can you do, it is their call.

I think everyone is eager to know how I did on my French exam-right? Well, I passed the course, barely, and albeit with an academic pass, I somehow managed to do this on my final. So I did something right. I thought with such a dismal effort on my last mid-term that doom was to be the only outcome I would see on my transcript. This means that I must have gotten somewhere around 70 to 80 percent on that exam. Seriously, this is huge if that happened. We never get to see the exact mark for our finals, and we never know the exact percentage when we finish the course, just a letter grade and GPA. So you can only guess. Perhaps I should email the prof and just check if this wasn’t a mistake?

As for Statistics – Well, my favorite letter was given for that course: an “A.” This is also a pleasant surprise because that should be the course from hell, not French.

A Note to My Mother: Mom, the disk, instructions, and the Monitor are in the mail and are on their way. I know you will probably not be reading this until your computer is sorted out, but I will try and make contact with you over the rest of the week to see what I can do until you are back on-line. Hang in there!

DianeOUtLoud: I will email you very soon for upgrade instructions. Next week I’m back in classes, so we will need to book this soon.

OK, I’m leaving the desk-enclosure and going home.

Posted in Bitching about work, General, Homework and deadlines, Humour, Linux | 6 Comments »

Tom the Hermit Crab – Through the Sand I Go, One more Wall to Climb ’till the Ocean I Go.

April 25th, 2010 Thomasso

Hello. I’m still doing the “loner” gig, staying at home, tucked away in my little room with all of my books, notes and thoughts. One more exam to go then I can rest for a few days before the cycle starts all over again.

The up coming exam is the last bit of first year French I have. But this will only mark the halfway point as I still have another language course to take before I can say – graduate!

It was spectacular day outside! the sun was shinning, the clouds started to thin out and the air warmed, but poor me had to avoid going outside as my textbooks were calling, “read me, read me…”. I’m in worry mode now as the deadline is approaching. I’m going through the guilty phase as I pack on the doubt, even dreamt that I missed the exam becuase of sleeping in! My mind is chaos right now. One part wants to get it over with, while the other knows how important this exam is. I hate living on the borderline of a pass or fail.

Yup, this is funny in my mind. Perhaps when I figure it all out, I will blurb about here to you my dear reader? But then again, don’t we all sit back and laugh about it years later when we reflect about it?

Posted in Bitching about work, Diatribe, General, Humour, University classes | Comments Off

Why I Laugh When no One Else Does

April 9th, 2010 Thomasso

I was watching the History Channel, an old episode of MASH was on, an comedy television program that played in the 70s that was based on the Korean War of 1950-52, from which the army chaplin was giving the last rites to a famous boxer who was visiting the troops. The boxer had died, and the chaplin  idolized the sports hero, so it was very tough for the chaplin to do his duties based on his faith. The character made a reference to keeping one foot in the ideal plane (Plato), and one foot in the ring, (boxing). That was a clever play on ethics and values I thought. When I laughed and said out loud that this was clever, my friends who were in the room too thought I was off my rocker when I said that. I was about to explain to them who Plato was, and why this was funny, but I quickly learnt that philosophy and auto mechanics don’t mix to well.

Several weeks ago I scoffed at the idea that someone would put a swastika on present Obama’s forehead on their protest signs, and call him a Communist.  Again my friends thought I was scoffing at the idea that I like Obama. When I explained to them that the swastika was a symbol of Fascism from the Nazi party in 1933, a symbol of extreme rightwingism, and that Communism was the diabolical opposite, they didn’t get it – nor did the American protesters either. Explaining the political ideologies went straight over over my friends’ heads, and they quickly lost interest and went back to watching the news.

Defining the difference between a deficit and debt of any government can be a bit tricky if you have little or no base line to draw from. When our local government said that “next year’s deficit is going to be twice as small as it is now,” my friends said, “there, that’s why I voted for them, because those other guys would have raked up a killer debt…” Need I say more. I laughed. “Never mind” I said, “it is apples and oranges that we are talking about.”

There, three examples of why I laugh when no one else does.

It is amazing how much of the world that we don’t see around us. A closed mind is a mind that struggles with its very existence. An open mind sees what the eyes do not, but we all see through a lens regardless. Maybe I wear rose coloured lenses, and my perception is full of distortions that are in direct relation to my experiences? Maybe if I walk farther, faster and longer, my perception will change again, and keep on changing? My poor friends, they must think I am nuts.

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